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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115451">Fate</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderdefender/pseuds/genderdefender'>genderdefender</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Self-Harm, So much hurt/comfort, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unnamed mental illness, but it includes psychosis, mentions of noncon incest, so if you're sensitive to that be careful, the tws make it sound worse than it is</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 23:15:11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,612</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28115451</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/genderdefender/pseuds/genderdefender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiyo had always been fascinated with soulmates, but he didn't want one. He had already promised his love to someone else. He'd much rather observe things from afar.</p>
<p>Fate had other plans.</p>
<p>(I think soulmate AUs are really interesting with any Korekiyo ship because of his implied abusive backstory, but there just isn't enough Kiyo-centric fics in this world, so I wrote my own.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Minor or Background Relationship(s), Saihara Shuichi/Shinguji Korekiyo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>129</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Fate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I'm sick and haven't been able to sleep because of it, and I've been having trouble writing for the One of Us fic (if you've been reading that, don't worry, I'm not abandoning it!! I just had to write something else for a second), so I thought "hey, I've had this idea for a while, I'll write something short when I can't seem to sleep. I mean, 10,000 words later, we're here. Not quite short, but at least it's not another multichapter fic idea. If the soulmate mechanics make no sense, or there are typos, it's because this was quickly written and I didn't proofread. It was just something easy and fun so I can hopefully get back to being productive in One of Us.</p>
<p>Please pay attention to the trigger warnings! There is explicit talk of self harm,  as well as mentions of child abuse and incest. It's gross, and horrible, and I am not trying to glorify that relationship in any way. I just wanted to write angst and hurt/comfort for Korekiyo.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Korekiyo had always been fascinated by the concept of 'soulmates'.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't want one himself, no- he had promised his love to Sister, and no universal prophecies would make him break it. He didn't want nor need a soulmate when the one love he needed was always with him. That's what he told her, at least, when he inevitably found himself researching it again and she would accuse him of being disloyal.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Still, that didn't stop him from cultivating his curiosity on the matter. There was something so rich, so beautiful in the idea of the inescapable fate of true love. Even more beautiful in that soulmates were illusive, usually never meeting no matter how much they may yearn to. After all, there was no way to tell who your soulmate was until you had met them for the first time.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everyone knew how it worked; when you touch your soulmate for the first time, a matching mark would be made on your skin. A permanent piece of artwork that would tie the two together for eternity. Many romance stories throughout time were based on this simple concept. Kiyo considered himself to be well-versed in the stories of old, and in every story, no matter the time period, the way soulmates worked stayed the same. Soulmates meet, and a mark is made to bind them forever. It's poetic.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, there were other things that connected soulmates, although they were less known and much harder to explain in words. In Kiyo's research, he had learned that soulmates often had a sort of telepathic connection, for lack of a better word; they described it as always being vaguely aware of their opposite half's location, what they were thinking, how they were feeling, among many other things. Too weak to properly make anything out, but too strong to ignore. It was a facet of soulmates that Kiyo could not understand from research alone, something that could only come from firsthand experience. Once in a blue moon, he wished to meet his soulmate, simply so he could fully comprehend the effects the phenomenon has, but then Sister would become upset with him, accuse him of infidelity, and he would have to apologize to her. His curiosity was purely professional, anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo was content with his life. He was taking courses at university for anthropology, and was at the top of his class to boot. He had a part time job he was proficient at as a tour guide at a local museum which paid well enough for him to afford to rent his own apartment, alone, just how he liked it. He didn't need anyone else in his life. He was perfectly happy being part of the majority who would never experience meeting their soulmate. Leave that for someone who wants it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Of course, fate never did take people's personal wants and needs into account.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had been on campus when it started. His philosophy class was starting soon, and he was headed up the stairs to the third floor classroom, clutching his books in his arms close to his chest. Granted, what happened had been entirely his fault. He should have brought a bookbag so his arms weren't occupied with heavy books, and he should have been looking where he was going instead of watching his feet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Just as he was reaching the top of the stairs, another student rounded the corner, and they crashed right into each other. Kiyo's eyes widened as he felt himself start tipping backwards, towards the bottom of the stairs which were frankly looking a lot steeper now that he was about to plummet down them. His arms flailed clumsily, dropping the books he was holding with a loud thud as they looked for something, </span>
  <em>
    <span>anything, </span>
  </em>
  <span>to grab so he might stop himself from falling and cracking his head open on the long way down. When they found nothing, he briefly resigned himself to his fate- at least he would learn what the afterlife was like and see his sister again- before a pair of hands gripped his bandaged arms and steadied him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sharply looked up at the man who had saved him; honestly, he had forgotten there had been another student there in his panic. Startled, gold-gray eyes framed by navy blue hair looked back at him. He had very long eyelashes, Kiyo noted, and had a hat pulled down over his face. If they were standing on the same plane, he likely wouldn't be able to see his face at all. He almost felt happy that he had seen him first from this angle; otherwise, he may have never seen his stunning eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That rather odd thought made him realize they had been staring wordlessly while holding onto each other's arms for an uncomfortably long time now. He shifted his hands a bit, which broke whatever spell the other had been put under.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He retracted his hands like he had been burnt, holding them up in a defensive position. "Sorry-!" his voice cracked- "uh, um, sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you a-and make you drop all your stuff and almost fall down the stairs!" He squatted down and started collecting the books Kiyo had unceremoniously dropped before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"If anyone should apologize, it should be me. I was not watching where I was going." He leant down and grabbed one of the books he had dropped, inspecting it for any damage. This one seemed to come out just fine, but he was worried about the effects being dropped like that might cause. He would hate to have ruined any.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man stood up and awkwardly held the books out to him. "Well, I could say the same thing. I was watching my feet." He nervously laughed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo carefully took his books back, and the two students fell back into a silent stalemate, albeit this time with much less eye contact. The other was just as socially awkward as he, perhaps even more so, so they stood quietly, unsure of what their next move should be.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>After a few moments, Kiyo came to the conclusion he would have to be the one to end this encounter. "I apologize, but my class is starting soon. I really must go."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh!" he exclaimed, looking slightly surprised and bashful. "Y-Yeah, of course. Uh, bye." He scampered around Kiyo and quickly walked down and out of sight. He stared after him for a moment, before shaking his head and continuing on his way. What a peculiar experience.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was soon to discover that it was just the beginning of a string of </span>
  <em>
    <span>more</span>
  </em>
  <span> peculiar experiences.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>First off, at around fifteen minutes into his class, his hands and arms started itching with a burning intensity. It wasn't painful, not really, but it was highly annoying to the point where he found it hard to pay attention to the lecture. He couldn't properly scratch it either, not without taking off his bandages, and he wasn't about to do that. (It took way too long to wrap them just to take them off this early in the day. Ah, the things he did for fashion.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Secondly, he had this growing, intrusive urge to go somewhere. Not just anywhere, though, somewhere specific. He could not tell exactly where that specific place was, or why he wanted to go there so bad, but he did feel a strong need to head northwest. Not that he was about to bow to this need.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Thirdly, his thoughts were becoming muddled, which was very out of character for him. Kiyo prided himself on being organized and collected in everything he did, and that included his thought process. Sister liked him best that way. But now he kept getting these unwanted thoughts, thoughts that made no sense, and they didn't seem to be stopping. They were always just snippets of sentences, jumbles of words and sounds and smells that Kiyo could not decipher, and it was becoming increasingly difficult to distinguish them from his own.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>By the time his day was finished, all he wanted to do was lay down and sleep until morning. His head was pounding due to his cluttered mind, and his body felt like it could collapse at any moment. What else could he do but rest? He sleepily stumbled to his bed and slumped down on it after stripping off his sweater, leaving his undershirt. He yawned as he started unwrapping the bandages on his right hand.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At first, he barely noticed it, too exhausted to pay attention to the peaks of color showing in the small gaps between loosened bandages. Even when the small gaps turned into larger ones, and the bits of color turned into rose vines cascading down his forearm, his first thought was not 'soulmates', it was simply confusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The vine started at the inside of his elbow and crawled down into the palm of his hand. The colors themselves were muted: the vine itself was army green, while the roses were a grayish gold. Despite the coloring, the tattoo was still rather garish. Although Kiyo appreciated the rose for all its symbolism, he would never get something so loud. In fact, he would likely never get a tattoo to begin with.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He stared at a good few seconds more before the reality of the situation started to sink in. He frantically unwrapped the bandages on his other arm, revealing another matching vine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The directional pulling, the alien thoughts, a mark on his arms exactly where the one new person he had touched today had grabbed him before he fell backwards…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>This was not happening.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo will be the first to admit he didn't cope with this new revelation in a healthy way.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sister had yelled at him, which, combined with the exhaustion and stress, had made him cry. Which just made Sister more angry with him, for not taking his scolding in stride. Which made him cry more, as he was upset with himself for disappointing her. Suffice to say, he spent a long time curled up in bed throwing himself a pity party while trying to repair his relationship with his sister. It was not one of his finest moments.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Neither was his next. He wouldn't have even considered it if he was in his right mind, but at the time his scattered mind had thought maybe if he desecrated the mark, the bond would be broken, and he could be alone with Sister again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a knife, sat on the floor, and, with shaking hands, attempted to cut away the offending mark. Attempted being the key word. There was some sort of mental block, something keeping him from even touching the knife to his skin where the vine was. (It's not like it would have worked, even if he could cut it. Kiyo knew that. If his mind had been running off of logic instead of desperation, he wouldn't have even tried.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn't exactly proud of what he did next. In a fit of blind frustration, he slammed his fist down onto his thigh. Suddenly, a searing pain shot through his leg. Stupidly he had used the hand he was holding the knife, inadvertently stabbing himself in the process. He looked down, shakily letting go of the knife lodged in his leg, blood already starting to seep around it. He threw his head back and screamed- in frustration, in pain, in desperation, he wasn't sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pain did bring him to his senses, though. He felt slightly humiliated at his actions, for losing his temper and freaking out. Sister would surely be cross with him for this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His leg shifted slightly and he grimaced as another wave of pain shot through him. He should work on dressing his wound now that he's calmed down. The knife was small enough he could take care of it himself, and he'd be damned if he embarrassed himself by going to a hospital over this. At least he had plenty of bandages.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Not too long later, he was lying dejectedly on the floor, leg wound wrapped up tight. It was still bleeding, already starting to steep through the bandages. Oh, well. He would just have to change them often.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He decidedly avoided looking at the offending soulmark, closing his eyes and holding his arms above his head to where he had to strain his neck to see his forearms. He had calmed down enough to where he was thinking rationally again, but it still pained him to look at it. Meeting his soulmate wasn’t the end of the world, he assured himself. He never actually had to see the man again. He could learn to ignore the tugging on his heart and the unwanted thoughts in his head. The other student also seemed anxious and socially awkward, so with any luck he wouldn’t come looking for him. Even if he did, he wasn’t obligated to have any sort of romantic relationship with his soulmate. It would simply be easier if the temptation was not there. Not that he wasn’t strong enough to abstain from any ‘temptations’ that would tear him away from Sister.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was startled out of his thoughts by a sudden sharp knock, eyes flying open. Who would possibly be visiting at this time? Kiyo didn’t exactly have any friends that would show up unannounced at his door. He looked down at his bandaged leg. He wasn’t even sure if he could properly walk on it, and he certainly didn’t want anyone to see him so distressed. He closed his eyes again and hoped whoever was at the door would give up and leave.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The fates seemed to be against him today, however, as the person on the other side of the door took his silence as concerning instead of disregarding, and knocked again, this time more loud and frantic. Kiyo groaned. Why out of all days for a surprise visitor did it have to be today? He pulled himself to his feet, and his eyes caught that cursed soulmark again, and- oh, yes, he was correct, he should not be putting any pressure on that leg. He hoped he didn’t tear something open as he shakily limped to his front door, leaning heavily on the wall for support.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He leaned on the door to catch his breath (this was taking a lot more out of him than he was expecting), and his impatient visitor knocked quickly and heavily on the door again. He exhaled sharply before wretching the door open, swaying a bit from the sudden movement. The sooner he greets his guest, the sooner he can send them away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he saw who was on the other side of his door, he had to stop himself from immediately shutting it back in his face. Standing in front of him was the student he ran into in the halls, the one he hated, the soulmate he never asked for. As he suspected earlier, from this angle he could not see his face, especially as he was looking at Kiyo’s arms rather than his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I knew it…” he whispered, and looked up at Kiyo with a shy smile on his face. He still couldn’t see his </span>
  <span>pretty</span>
  <span> eyes. He pushed his sleeve up and held his arm up, a frustratingly familiar rose vine curling down it. “Uh, l-look, we, um, we match!” he stuttered out. His awkward excitement would have been endearing if Kiyo wasn’t so mad about the whole situation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“May I ask why you have come here?” Kiyo didn’t mean to sound cold or cruel, but he was starting to feel a bit woozy from the pain in his leg and wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His small smile flipped into a small frown. “I came because we’re- because we’re soulmates, you know? I didn’t really, um, know much about it, but I have a friend who met her soulmate, so she told me about it. And then I felt this really sharp pain in my thigh for no reason, and she said that probably meant you had gotten hurt, and I got really scared so I followed my- well, somehow I found my way to where you were so I could make sure you were okay, and…” his head tilted down, and he trailed off as he presumably looked at Kiyo’s leg. “Holy shit, are you bleeding?!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Everything the man had just said went in one ear and out the other, and it was getting increasingly harder to think. He said something about… bleeding? Was Kiyo bleeding? He looked down at his injured leg. The bandages were noticeably more red than before. “It appears I am,” he stated lamely. “I shall go take care of that. Goodbye.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wh- No!” he exclaimed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo wavered a bit and his hold on the door tightened. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>really</span>
  </em>
  <span> needed to end this conversation. “No?” he questioned.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I- Sorry, but you’re in no shape to take care of that on your own. Let me do it.” For the first time in their conversation, he looked up to meet Kiyo’s gaze, eyes stern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed in defeat. “Fine.” He slumped against the wall to limp out of the doorway to let this stranger in. Now that he thought about it more, he was acting reckless. Maybe it was the pain muddling his thoughts. He didn’t even want a soulmate. Was he so sentimental on the idea of one that he was about to let a stranger into his home?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t tell if the voice berating him was his own or Sister’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other man wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him away from the wall, making him lean his weight on him. Kiyo wasn’t exactly heavy, and was quite skinny for his height, but the other man was surprisingly strong. He pulled him over to a chair, and Kiyo almost sighed in relief when the pressure was off of his leg.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you have bandages anywhere?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, yes. Plenty. Bathroom,” he muttered. He leaned his head back and rubbed at his face. Was he flushed? His cheeks felt hot.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He left and came back before Kiyo even noticed, and he jumped at the feeling of hands on his thigh.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shh, calm down, it’s just me…” he muttered. Kiyo would have felt utterly humiliated if he was fully cognitive. “Hey, we never properly introduced ourselves. I’m Saihara Shuichi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘M Kiyo. Shinguji Korekiyo,” he muttered, then hissed as the dirty bandages were pulled off his wound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jesus, this wound is deep. What did you even do?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Telling him what had happened was a bad idea. If he knew he was trying to harm himself, he would be labelled as mentally unstable. If he found out the reason behind his attempts, he would feel emotionally hurt. His blurry thoughts couldn’t come up with a believable lie, either. Instead, he just stayed silent.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Did you do it to yourself?” he whispered quietly. Hell, it looked like his silence was answer enough.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not intentionally.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you unintentionally stab yourself this deep?” Shuichi tied the bandage tight against his leg and stood up, brushing invisible dirt off his hands. “Where are your glasses?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo pointed in the vague direction of a cabinet. “I wasn’t thinking straight.” Not technically a lie. Not fully true, either.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi hummed skeptically. Kiyo heard the clinking of glass, and then the sound of a tap, and not long afterwards he came back with a glass of water. “Can you please take off your mask?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo shook his head. No way he was taking off his mask in front of a stranger, soulmate or not.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You need to drink water, and you can’t drink it through the mask. You’ll have to take it off,” he said again, this time demanding instead of asking.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...I refuse.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then I’ll have to take it off you myself.” Shuichi put his free hand on his hip. What happened to the socially anxious boy from just a few minutes ago? “As you soulmate, I’m obligated to make sure you’re properly taken care of, especially while you’re injured.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do not speak as though you know me.” This was ridiculous.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi’s face softened a bit. “I want to know you. And I want to take care of you. I don’t care about what’s under there, if that’s what it’s about. Please, let me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So Shuichi was a person who could overcome his social anxiety for the sake of protecting his friends. Interesting. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t know what or who possessed him to concede (certainly not Sister), but he reached up and slowly pulled his mask down, revealing the black lipstick he had put on that morning. He never took off his mask when others were around, and the lipstick was just for him. He thought it made him look pretty, but he found himself slightly embarrassed that he was showing such a highly feminine side of himself to someone else. He had resigned himself to the fact that being such a feminine man would bring him nothing but trouble. With the way Shuichi was staring at his mouth, he was expecting the worst.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“...Can I have that water now?” he asked, looking away with a heavy frown on his face. He felt a bit naked now that the other could see his expressions unblocked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh! Uh, yeah, of course. Sorry for staring, I just… I was expecting a scar or something, not… makeup. Uh, you look nice, though.” He handed over the glass and muttered under his breath, “Really nice.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Um, thank you.” He took a sip of the water (and wow, he had seriously underestimated his thirst). He never thought someone would compliment him on his femininity. He wanted to say he liked it, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>couldn’t</span>
  </em>
  <span> like it, because he didn’t want a soulmate. Even if they liked the way he looked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now they were caught in an uncomfortable silence. Kiyo drank his water, and Shuichi shifted on his feet and fiddled with his hands. Neither wanted to break it, so they let it hang over them, let it suffocate them. It allowed him to ruminate in his thoughts, which had started to clear up again now that he was sitting down. He noticed Sister had been uncharacteristically quiet the entire time Shuichi had been with him. He was used to her commenting on all the things he did that she didn’t like, and he was absolutely sure he was acting in ways she would find unsavory. He was acting impulsively, humiliating himself, not speaking clearly- all things she would usually berate him on. Why had she gone quiet? Was she mad at him for being too friendly with his unwanted soulmate? That wasn’t his fault, he was terribly injured, unable to fully control himself!</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...No, of course it was his fault. He should be sorry he even attempted to shift the blame off himself.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So…” Shuichi finally broke the silence, “do you think I could, uh, get your number? Like I said before, I want to get to know you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t. He could not let Shuichi into his life, wouldn’t give himself any semblance of a chance to fall for him. Even letting him stay in his apartment this long was toeing the line. He was already finding things he liked about him. He thought his awkward nature was charming, he liked being cared for by him, he admired his pretty eyes- he had to stop himself before he strayed too far from Sister, before he betrayed his promise. “I do not believe that’s a good idea.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” He looked shocked, and Kiyo felt an unnatural pang of sadness in his chest.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo pulled his mask back up and recovered his face. “I can’t love you, Shuichi.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well- that’s okay. Soulmates aren’t always romantic. I’m alright with just being your friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He couldn’t let Shuichi into his life. Not even as a friend. “I think you should leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you so afraid of?” His face was red, and his eyes were wet. Kiyo could see his anger- he could </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> his anger, for lack of a better word. “I can feel you’re scared of this. O-Of me even being here. But why? Can you just tell me why?” he pleaded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo swallowed, and stared at the carefully tied bandage on his thigh. “Please leave.” He tried to sound stern, but his voice ended up sounding more like a wavering whimper. For some reason, it hurt to send him away, but whether it was his own or something he sensed from Shuichi he couldn’t say. At least if he hurt him, he would be less likely to come back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He kept his head down as he heard Shuichi sniff, then his feet shuffled across the ground, and finally the door creaked open and thudded closed as he left Kiyo’s apartment. He was exhausted, physically, mentally, and emotionally. He pushed himself onto steady feet and limped to his bed, not bothering to change out of the rest of his clothes. (If he did, he would have to redo Shuichi’s perfectly done bandage.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sister told him once he lay down that she was proud of him. That he made the right decision, that she loved him so, so much, and now she was sure he loved her too. Usually, her praise meant a lot to him, but this time all he felt was unease. She told him that same thing so many times, just to take it back the next time she did something she deemed as unsavory. Not that he was doubting her. He would never doubt her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And if he thought of pretty long eyelashes and the longing ache in his chest to fix the emotional pain he could feel coming from their owner before he fell asleep, well. No one had to know.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>──────────</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t given much time to wake up the next morning, as he was awoken by extremely hard and angry knocking at his front door. How many unwanted guests did one man need?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It wasn’t early, not at all- Kiyo usually woke up earlier than this, but he had been so tired yesterday he would probably have slept longer if allowed. Good thing he had no plans today. He felt slightly uncomfortable in his clothes, having slept in his uniform pants, and the bandages on his leg definitely needed changing. He didn’t exactly have time to fix any of these problems, as the knocking at his door had somehow gotten even angrier. He pushed himself up and out of bed, and unsurprisingly still needed to lean on the wall for balance while he limped to his door. Looks like stab wounds don’t heal very fast.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opened the door to reveal a blonde woman in a pink sweater with a furious expression on her face, hand still held up as if she was about to knock the door once again. She looked up at him expectantly, and he swore he saw her frown deepen.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Good morning. May I ask why-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was cut off by a sharp slap across his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He brought a hand to his face, more shocked than hurt in any way. He had never been hit so suddenly, not without obvious reason. “What-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What is wrong with you?” she interrupted him again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He paused for a moment to make sure she would allow him to speak. When he was sure it was his turn to talk, he said, “I’m sorry, but I have no idea who you are or what you are talking about. Could you be more specific on your grievance towards me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She huffed and crossed her arms. She had a soulmark around her wrist: a ring of red music notes. “My friend has dreamed of meeting his soulmate since we were kids. He was so excited when his mark finally showed up.” She pointed at his arm, and said offhandedly, “It’s a stunning mark, really. Imagine my surprise when he comes back from meeting with him crying his eyes out because he told him he would never love him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo didn’t have anything to counter that. While he could have argued he never explicitly used the word ‘never’, he had a feeling that would make her wrath worse. At his silence, she continued, “What kind of person meets their soulmate only to immediately tell them they hate them?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He furrowed his brow. “I never said I hate him, and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from making false accusations.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She put her hands on her hips. “And what </span>
  <em>
    <span>did</span>
  </em>
  <span> you say to him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I merely told him the truth. That I couldn’t love him.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why not?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He narrowed his eyes at her. “Are you interrogating me?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She hummed an affirmation. At least she was self aware.“If you won’t answer ‘why not love’, then can you tell me why you won’t even consider being friends with him?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kaede!” a familiar voice called from down the hall. Why had life decided to curse him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sure enough, Shuichi ran up to the woman (Kaede, he now knew), resting his hand on her shoulder and leaning on her, breathing heavily. “Hah… I told you… not to bother him…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why was he so out of breath? “Did you run up the stairs?” He quirked an eyebrow questioningly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s faster than… the elevator… Wanted to stop her… before she bothered you… Beside’s… it’s good cardio.” He inhaled deeply.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was… respecting his wishes? Despite the fact that Kiyo had been intentionally rude to him, and that what he demanded went directly against his own wants? Even when, if this girl wasn’t exaggerating, he had made him cry just the night before?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(Also, did he work out? That would explain the strength that surprised him yesterday. Was it bad he found that attractive?)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You should change those bandages again,” Shuichi muttered, “and… did you sleep in your clothes? They’ll get wrinkled.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Why was he caring about him? He should hate him. “Sorry,” he responded softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-You don’t have to apologize! Especially not to me,” he said behind his hand. “If anyone should apologize, it should be me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No you don’t!” Kaede snapped. “He’s… he’s an asshole!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, he’s not. He’s right- us being soulmates doesn’t mean we have to be together.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was defending him? After everything?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That’s not fair to you, Shuichi! He should at least give it a chance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No one had ever defended him before.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry for bothering you, Kiyo. We’ll go now-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Wait.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Korekiyo, what are you doing?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… she’s right.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You really shouldn’t do this.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Not everything should be about me. You deserve a part in this too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>This is dangerous. You might get too close to him. He’ll make you stray too far.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… I would like to be your friend.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You’ve always been a weak, reckless, sentimental fool.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>...But for some reason, he couldn’t stand to let him go.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And it was worth it, when he looked up at him, with his big, pretty eyes and a small but enthused smile. “You mean it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>No.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kaede threw an arm around Shuichi and pulled him into a quick side hug. “I told you if I talked to him he’d change his mind!” she whispered, but not soft enough for Kiyo not to hear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You never said that,” he whispered back. Kiyo wondered what it was like to have such a good friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They exchanged phone numbers, and when Kiyo saw the matching vine crawling into Shuichi’s palm, he felt warmth instead of despair.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>──────────</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They started texting, and Kiyo found a lot of things he liked about his new fate bound companion. He was studying to be a detective, like his uncle was. He was labeled as a prodigy after solving a murder case while he was still in high school, though he insisted it was an accident and he didn’t deserve all the credit. He was intelligent, but very modest about it. A very attractive trait.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He not only allowed, but actively responded to Kiyo’s lectures, which was usually something people hated about him. Kiyo wasn’t socially inept; he knew he talked too much, and that he bored or annoyed those he spoke to. Not that he cared about what others thought. He preferred to watch people from afar instead of interacting with them directly. He would be lying, though, if he said he didn’t appreciate finally having someone to talk to who didn’t roll their eyes or leave halfway through. Sometimes, Shuichi would </span>
  <em>
    <span>ask</span>
  </em>
  <span> him for a lecture, which always forced a smile onto his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sister voiced her concerns every time that she was afraid he was falling in love with him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo had started ignoring her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was also starting to recognize the difference between his own thoughts and feelings and those he was picking up from Shuichi. He supposed if one good thing came out of this scenario, it was that he could now learn about soulmates firsthand. Every so often, he would feel random happiness or frustration that he knew wasn’t coming from himself. Sometimes something would pop into his head for no reason and he knew it was something Shuichi was thinking. There was always something reminding him that he forever connected to him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>(He tried not to think too hard about the fact that it went both ways, because if he did, he would be very concerned as to what thoughts of his Shuichi were hearing.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a couple weeks after their meeting when Shuichi invited him to a party.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s not a big party, it’s just Kaede’s friends,” he had said. “She’s expecting you to come.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo felt like Kaede ‘expecting’ him really meant ‘you better come or else’. He had already been on the receiving end of her fury once, best not to cross her again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Besides, it’s not like Kiyo hated parties. Quite the opposite, in fact, he loved going to parties, he just wasn’t invited to them very often. College parties were one of the best places to observe people in their most casual forms, as the partygoers were usually inebriated and thus had lowered inhibitions. As long as he stayed on the sidelines and wasn’t forced to interact with anyone, he would be fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he showed up at the given address, he was surprised at the low amount of cars parked outside the quaint house. Usually when a college student said they were having a small party with just a few friends, they were lying or underestimating the amount of people that were going to show up. This had the consequence of making it harder for Kiyo to blend into the background and watch without interacting. No matter.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knocked on the door, which was quickly opened by a stony faced woman with long brown pigtails. “...Yes?” she asked after a pause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was invited to a gathering at this address by Saihara Shuichi.” The glare she was giving him was making him second guess himself. “Is this… the wrong address?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes flicked down to his arms, which were bandaged like usual, and then back up to his face. After a pause, she stepped out of the doorway and said, “Come in.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He cautiously walked past her, still not entirely sure this was the right place. She wordlessly went further into the house, and he reluctantly followed. She led him into a living room where about a dozen people were sitting and talking with each other, including Shuichi and Kaede. They all went quiet and looked up at him when he entered the room. He was used to feeling judged on his appearance, but people at least tried to hide the fact that they were staring. For the first time in a long time, he felt genuinely uncomfortable under their gazes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiyo!” Shuichi exclaimed, smiling up at him. “I, uh, wasn’t sure if you were coming.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I told you I would come, so I came. I would not lie to you about that. Am I late?” Judging by the amount of people who had arrived before him, he assumed he was.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No! Of course not,” Shuichi assured him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You kind of are,” a short man in a hat and leather jacket informed him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I see. I apologize.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi frowned a little bit. “It doesn’t matter that much, it’s a really casual thing.” He scooted closer to the man next to him and patted the ground between him and Kaede. “Come on, come sit here!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As Kiyo crossed the room and sat down between them, the others returned to their previous conversations. He let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Finally, the attention was off of him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s nice to see you again,” Kaede smiled sweetly at him.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, and you as well.” He hadn’t spoken to Kaede since his first encounter with her, but Shuichi had assured him over and over again that she wasn’t usually like that. She was a simply a social butterfly who was extremely protective of her friends, and since she met her soulmate quite young, she was very sensitive about the topic. He might as well be civil with her, especially when she was rightful in her anger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man in the purple jacket on the Shuichi’s other side leaned forward and grinned at him. “So, can I assume you’re the Kiyo guy Shuichi keeps talking about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi flushed red and swatted at him. “Don’t embarrass me, please…” he murmured.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, I am Kiyo. Shinguji Korekiyo. And you are?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hit his chest triumphantly. “Momota Kaito, Luminary of the Stars, at your service!” he bellowed. A few people in the room turned their heads to look at him briefly due to his volume. He seemed to be quite a loud person, in voice and in personality.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His face suddenly became very serious. “Can I ask you a question?” he said, and didn’t even give him time to respond before continuing. “Shuichi showed me you guys’ soulmark, and it’s really pretty, but you’re covering it up with bandages. Any reason for that?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It appears Shuichi had more than one overprotective friend.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Actually, Kiyo was wearing bandages when I first met him, not to mention he had a multitude of bandages in his apartment as well,” Shuichi recalled. “I know you’re not injured either, as I saw your arms bare the day I came over. It’s just a fashion statement, right?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Impressive memory. It is, indeed, just for fashion.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi blushed and smiled awkwardly at the praise. “I am training to be a detective… this kind of stuff is pretty basic.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Most people wouldn’t notice all of those things, much less connect them and come to the correct conclusion. You should give yourself more credit.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know, right?” Kaito yelled and clapped his arm around Shuichi. “I tell him that all the time. I mean, I wouldn’t remember all that stuff for sure!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, it was easy to assuage his concerns.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t remember anything, space idiot. That’s not a high bar to pass.” A short and childish looking man from the other side of the (admittedly) small room interjected into their conversation.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, I can’t help it! I’ve got ADHD, I’m forgetful!” He punched his fists together in triumphant anger.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah yeah, whatever.” He waved his hand dismissively and rolled his eyes. “Hey, if we’re questioning Shuichi’s boytoy, can I have a turn?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please don’t interrogate him-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not his ‘boytoy’-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shut up, I didn’t ask for your opinion!” he whined loudly. If the entire room wasn’t listening in before, they certainly were now. “Now, Creepshow, I noticed earlier you specifically said, ‘I wouldn’t lie to you </span>
  <em>
    <span>about that.’</span>
  </em>
  <span> Does that mean you would, in fact, lie to him about other things?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Was I invited here for a friendly get-together or a criminal interrogation?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I believe both,” a blonde, pale looking boy said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiibo, you weren’t supposed to tell him that!” the blue haired woman sitting next to him whispered harshly (and loudly. Did none of Shuichi’s friends know how to whisper properly?).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m really sorry,” Shuichi mumbled. “They promised they wouldn’t do this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay. Your friends simply care a lot about you. I cannot blame you for that,” he mumbled back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to answer anything.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yes, you do!” the childish man said. “Answer me, now!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He sighed. “It is within a human’s nature to lie. Everyone lies, whether it is to deceive and hurt, or to protect ourselves and others. Saying I would never lie to him would be a lie in and of itself.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man crossed his arms and hummed as if he was impressed. “Yeah. I approve.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Really, Kokichi?” Kaito said. “That’s all it takes?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yep,” he responded, popping the ‘p’ sound.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ooookay,” Kaede said, clapping her hands together excitedly. “How about before we continue interrogating Kiyo, we give him some proper introductions?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would appreciate that."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The group (which Kiyo was beginning to think of as the Shuichi Protection Team) started introducing themselves one by one. Of course, since they had apparently made it their job to judge every aspect of Kiyo's life, the introductions were often peppered with personal questions (to Shuichi's obvious dismay), so they ended up learning a lot more about him than he did any of them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A green haired man named Rantaro has asked him about traveling, which was rather nice. They had started a pleasant conversation about it (he was also a well seasoned traveller, how exciting) but were quickly cut off for more introductions. He'd have to see if they could continue later.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The blue haired woman (Tsumugi, he learned) asked him what his favorite anime was, and then berated him when he said he didn't watch any. Then, she wrote down an intimidatingly long list and told him he had to watch every one. He made no promises.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A girl in peculiar pigtails named Tenko asked him why he would ever consider dating a 'male' over a girl, as girls were perfect and males were, in her words, 'degenerate'. Judging by the quiet groans he could hear after, he assumed this was less of a question for him and more of an announcement of her ideals.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A woman in pink named Miu asked him what his 'kinks' were, as apparently "no man who looks and dresses like that is vanilla in bed." Shuichi had stopped him before he could answer her question with a red face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"D-Don't answer that!" he squeaked and tugged at his sleeve.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Don't act as though you aren't interested, virgin! I know you're all thinkin' it!"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I don't think anyone else is thinking it, Miu," Kaito said, a slightly disgusted look on his face.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"What, so he's allowed to answer everyone's questions except for mine?" she pouted.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"No one is interested in that except maybe you," Kiibo said.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"And Shuichi!" Kokichi added, grinning devilishly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi made a disgruntled noise and hid his face in his hands. "Please, can we stop the questioning? You've all met him, now, so we're done, right?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shuichi's right," Kaede said. "Leave poor Kiyo alone, I think we've bullied him enough for today."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not bothered," Kiyo assured them. "It was a different experience, to say the least. I've never had so many people care about what I have to say." He mumbled the last part to himself, and wasn't expecting anyone else to hear. Shuichi looked up at him with a small, inquisitive frown on his face, but didn't say anything.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Shuichi Protection Team lost interest in their interrogation fast, going back to talking amongst themselves in small groups</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Kiyo-" Shuichi started, but cut himself off when Rantaro walked over to them and sat down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Hey. I wanted to talk a bit more about your travels, since we got cut off earlier."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo glanced at Shuichi to see if he wanted to continue his thought, but he shook his head a little.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Yes, of course. I was interested in continuing our conversation as well, seeing as you have also traveled many places."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They talked for a long time about their travels: where they had gone, what they had learned, their reasons for traveling. While Kiyo simply traveled for his love of anthropology, Rantaro was searching for his lost sisters.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"A very admirable reason," Kiyo told him. "I understand the lengths one may go for a sibling."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, do you have any siblings?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'd… rather not talk about it."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Rantaro nodded knowingly. "I get it. Anyway, as I was saying, while I was in France…"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn't miss the subtle glance Shuichi gave him at that. He really hoped he hadn't said too much. He didn't want them to know about Sister.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why don't you want them to know? Are you embarrassed? You never were before. This boy, this Shuichi, he's a bad influence on you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Shut up," he mumbled unintelligibly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Huh? Did you say something?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Ah, no. Please continue."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt a little bad that he was giving Rantaro more attention than Shuichi, but he had no reason to. Shuichi was his soulmate, but they were just friends. Rantaro was a friend now too, or he at least hoped he was. There was no reason to feel like Shuichi deserved more of his attention.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Before he knew it, things were dying down, and people were heading home one by one. Soon, the only ones left in the house were himself, Shuichi, Kaede, and Maki (whom he learned was Kaede's soulmate, and they lived in the house together. From an outside view, they were complete opposites, but they seemed to compliment each other). Maki and Kaede were in another room, which left Kiyo and Shuichi alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's getting late, isn't it?" Kiyo couldn't see a clock, but it was dark and had been for a while. "I should get home. I had a wonderful evening meeting all of your friends. Thank you for inviting me."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Oh, uh, thanks for coming! It means a lot to me. Ah, but wait! I wanted to talk to you about something, now that it's just us." He started tapping his arm, all of a sudden looking much more anxious.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Go ahead."</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"It's just, um… Before, you said, "I've never had so many people care about what I say," or something like that. I was wondering, uh… how many friends do you have, Kiyo?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo blinked. What a strange question. "You're my friend, right?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi frowned. "I meant other than me. Who were your friends before me?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo wasn't sure how to respond to that. If he told him the truth, he would pity him, which he didn't want. If he lied and said he had other friends, Shuichi would want to meet them, which wouldn't work.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"You're… all alone, aren't you?" Shuichi phrased it like a question, but he was obviously sure in his conclusion.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I'm not alone. I may not have any friends, but I'm never alone." Careful, he told himself. This is dangerous ground. Don't say something you'll regret.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"Are you talking about your sister?" Shuichi asked.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo physically recoiled. Calm down. He hoped Shuichi couldn't hear his heart beating as hard as it was, that he wasn't picking up on his fear through their </span>
  <em>
    <span>stupid</span>
  </em>
  <span> soulmate connection. "What makes you think I have a sister?"</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Why are you trying to hide it? You </span>
  </em>
  <span>are </span>
  <em>
    <span>embarrassed, aren't you? That hurts.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>"I catch snippets of your thoughts sometimes. You think about her a lot. I remember when you stabbed yourself a couple weeks ago, I heard you think about her for a long while until I showed up. Actually, I was surprised to learn you lived alone.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He had purposely ignored the fact that Shuichi might be able to hear bits of his thoughts, and being told explicitly that he had felt like a slap to the face. Kiyo hadn’t even been aware he had been thinking about Sister a lot. How was Shuichi so much better than him at navigating their soulmate connection?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You always seem really scared when you think about her,” he continued. “Is she… I mean, are you okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She’s dead,” he blurted out impulsively.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Disappointing. You should keep better control of yourself.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Shuichi looked at him with sympathy in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Apologize.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi frowned questioningly. “Why are you apologizing?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I… don’t know.” He wasn’t apologizing to him, he was apologizing to her. He still didn’t know what he was apologizing for.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi awkwardly shifted his weight, before carefully leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Kiyo, resting his chin on his shoulder. He was warm, and smelled like vanilla, and Kiyo was surprised that he felt comfortable and safe in his arms. He couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged him like this. Sister certainly never did.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How long have you been alone, Kiyo?” Shuichi muttered into his ear.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Tell him the truth. You’re never alone. You don’t need him. You don’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>want</span>
  <em>
    <span> him.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo carefully brought his arms up, holding Shuichi lightly. “She died when I was 17. I… didn’t have anyone else.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi held him closer. “Oh, Kiyo…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I’m not lonely,” he reassured himself softly.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you are,” Shuichi replied.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>──────────</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their relationship was definitely different after that night.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo was being invited to things very often not only by Shuichi, but by his other friends as well. He found himself growing close to many of them- of course, he was still talking to Rantaro, but he also enjoyed the company of Gonta, who was quite charming if you didn’t mind hearing a lot about bugs, and Kirumi, whose calm personality made her easy for him to get along with. They even added him to their group chat (he had it muted most of the time, with how active it was, but he appreciated the gesture either way).</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sister hated that he had friends. She liked it better when it was just them.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo was tired of being alone.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo wasn’t just interacting with Shuichi in groups, though. He had been doing a lot with him alone as well. They went to get lunch or coffee often, and texted nearly every day. They would meet up at each other’s homes and watch movies and talk. Kiyo found himself smiling at every message and constantly looking forward to the next time he would see him. He wasn’t falling in love, he promised he wouldn’t, but if he invited Shuichi over to sit quietly and read simply because he liked being near him, who would stop him?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Well, Sister tried, but he was trying to ignore her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was one of these days where they sat quietly with each other that everything changed. They were sitting in Kiyo’s living room, each studying silently while sitting flush next to each other despite the fact that there was enough space on the sofa for them to each have plenty of room. (Wanting to be close to him did not mean he loved him. He promised.)</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Shuichi shift next to him and sigh. “I know you don’t know much about forensic science, but you are good at pointing things out that I’ve missed, so would you mind taking a look at this?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can’t promise I will be of any help, but I will try.” He turned his head to look at Shuichi’s book and- oh, wow, their faces were really close. Kiyo had plenty of opportunities to stare at Shuichi’s eyes, but never this close. From this angle, he could see every one of his long eyelashes, and the detail in the irises surrounding his wide pupils. His cheeks were dusted pink- Kiyo was sure his weren’t any better- and he was sure if he wasn’t wearing a mask, he would feel his breath on his face. He felt like he did when they first met: time stopped and he was paralyzed, except this time, he couldn’t find it within himself to break away.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Instead of jumping away like before, Shuichi moved his hands up Kiyo’s arms, stopping briefly to press their forearms together lightly where their soulmarks were. Then, his hands slid up over his shoulders, his neck, and rested on his cheeks, fingers dancing at the edge of his mask.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Korekiyo, what are you doing?</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tilted his head in a silent question.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Stop him. Push him away.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He put his hands over Shuichi’s and tucked his pointer fingers under the top of the mask, pulling it down with him. His lipstick was red that day.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You don’t want this.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi leaned up, stopping halfway and looking into his eyes as if to ask, </span>
  <em>
    <span>“are you sure?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You’re going to regret this if you don’t stop right now.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo shut his eyes and closed the distance.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It started small and chaste. Neither of them moved for a moment, simply sitting with their lips gently touching. Kiyo wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to be doing. Yes, Sister had kissed him, but he hated it and never reciprocated. He just sat still and let her do what she wanted. Like she told him to.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi moved his hands from his cheeks to the back of his head, threading his fingers into his long hair. “Stop thinking, relax,” he muttered, and leaned further into him, pushing him back and kissing him properly. What happened to socially awkward Shuchi who was always overthinking?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His lips were pleasant and soft, and he tasted like the coffee he was always drinking. The hands in his hair were tugging gently, moving his head to where he wanted it, and it felt surprisingly good. He tried to follow his lead, but he knew he wasn’t doing well at it. He almost pulled away to apologize for it, scared that he would be upset with him, but Shuichi just laughed and moved closer, his textbook falling to the ground as he ended up half on Kiyo’s lap.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Unlike his usual meek and anxious demeanor, Shuichi kissed him like it was something he had been waiting for his whole life, hard and desperate. It was overwhelming, and he struggled to keep up, but he loved it. It was the fact that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Shuichi</span>
  </em>
  <span> was kissing him like this; highly intelligent Shuichi, who naturally attracted people despite his social anxiety, who actually listened to Kiyo when he spoke, wanted </span>
  <em>
    <span>him</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Yes, they were soulmates, but Kiyo didn’t think </span>
  <em>
    <span>anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> would want him like this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He loved him. He loved him so much.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Suddenly, Shuichi pulled back, and Kiyo immediately missed his warmth. He stayed still for a moment, secretly hoping Shuichi would come back and kiss him again, and when he didn’t, he cautiously opened his eyes. His mouth had slight red stains from Kiyo’s lipstick (and was it bad he found that attractive? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes.</span>
  </em>
  <span>) and he was looking at him with concern.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did I… do something wrong?” Kiyo asked. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what he did, but he didn’t want Shuichi to hate him, so he apologized anyway.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was going to ask you that!” Shuichi exclaimed, moving further away from Kiyo, to his disappointment. “You started crying, I was afraid I was, um, upsetting you or, like, forcing myself on you, or something.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m not…” He trailed off when touched his face and felt tears. He was crying? Why?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>You promised your fascination with soulmates was purely educational. You promised you didn’t want one. You promised you wouldn’t fall in love with him. You broke all of those. You lied.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“K-Kiyo! What’s wrong?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>If you’re this disloyal to your own blood, what makes you think you can be with someone else? What makes you think anyone else can love you? This boy certainly won’t, not once he knows about what you’ve done.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kiyo, please talk to me, you’re scaring me…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I broke my promise,” he choked out. When had he started crying again? “I promised I didn’t care about soulmates and I wouldn’t fall in love with you and I broke it and now she hates me and she’s never gonna talk to me again-”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shh, slow down.” He reached out towards him, but stopped short. “Um, can I touch you? I get panic attacks but sometimes I don’t want to be touched…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He nodded, and reached his arms out towards him like a child. Shuichi hugged him carefully, letting him set the pace, and Kiyo held him tightly and sobbed into shoulder for a long time. He felt so infantile, and weak, and he was embarrassed that he was letting his emotions get the better of him yet again. As if Sister wasn’t already going to hate him enough-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I can </span>
  <em>
    <span>feel</span>
  </em>
  <span> your self loathing,” Shuichi murmured, his face tucked between Kiyo’s neck and shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“‘M sorry,” he sniffed.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Stop apologizing. You haven’t done anything wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wiped at his eyes. “But I did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi shifted slightly in his arms. “Do you want to talk about it?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo wanted to tell him. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>desperately</span>
  </em>
  <span> wanted to tell him. But…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He’ll be disgusted. He’ll hate you.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t know what it is, but I’m sure it’s not your fault.” He started rubbing Kiyo’s back, and he almost melted into his touch. How had he gone so long without this? “And, uh, I can tell you’re scared to tell me about it for some reason, but um, I r-really like you and I doubt whatever it is will make me leave.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe he could try.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi laughed softly. “I mean, if you’re a criminal, I’d be legally obligated to report you to the police, but I sincerely doubt that’s the case.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was a bad joke, and a rather dark one at that, but it lightened the mood just enough for Kiyo to let out one short laugh. “Alright. I… I’ll tell you. It’s a bit of a long story, though.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve got time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The thing about bottling up emotions for years and then spilling all of it at one time is that once you start, it’s very hard to stop.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He avoided looking at Shiuchi’s face, keeping his arms wrapped tight around him and his face hidden in the crook of his neck. He kept it there as he told him about how his sister raised him, and how she eventually didn’t have to hit him anymore to make him do what she wanted. He tried to ignore the way the other’s body tensed up when he told him how their relationship changed from a family love to a romantic one and, eventually, a sexual one. He couldn’t hold back his sobs as he recalled the day she died, and the promise she made him make. He felt almost embarrassed when he told him he still felt her presence following him, could still hear her voice inside his head. He hoped Shuichi didn’t hate him when he told him the actual story behind the night after they met, how she made him so scared of having a soulmate that he tried to hurt himself over it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He didn’t realize exactly how horrible it all sounded until he said it out loud. Interesting how that works.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When he finished his story, they sat in an uncomfortable silence for a while, still in the same hug. Kiyo was deathly afraid that he had said too much and now Shuichi was going to leave him alone, and then probably tell all their friends and humiliate him-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shh, I’m not mad at you. I’m just… thinking about what to say.” He brought a hand up to pet his hair, and Kiyo leaned his head back into it. Shuichi laughed silently in his ear. “You’re like an overgrown cat.” There were another few moments of silence, and then, “You should probably see a psychologist.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo grimaced. “I don’t want anyone else knowing about her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it because you’re ashamed?” Shuichi asked, and Kiyo nuzzled his face further into his neck instead of answering him. “None of it was your fault. You… I mean, you were abused.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I allowed it to happen. I… I loved her.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi pulled back, and held him by the shoulders while looking him straight in the eyes with a serious expression. Kiyo was shocked to see he had been crying as well. “Of course you loved her. She was your sister. That doesn’t change that she manipulated you into doing things you didn’t want to do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He shook his head. “It’s hard for me to believe that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” He pulled Kiyo back into his arms. “I’m so sorry you went through all that.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t sure how to respond, so he just stayed quiet and held him back.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>──────────</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is this okay?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You ask me that every time, love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had been a few months since Kiyo told Shuichi about his sister. Shuichi had talked him into getting professional help, and though recovery was a long road, he was getting better. He was much happier than he had ever been before, and slowly but surely, his sister’s influence over him was fading. And, with that, he finally let himself pursue a relationship with his soulmate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They were cuddling, Shuichi carding his hands through his hair with Kiyo curled around him. He always felt so warm and safe in Shuichi’s arms. Why had he denied himself this for so long?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just know you don’t like to be touched much, is all. I want to make sure you’re comfortable.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He hummed. “You are correct. I do not like to be touched. But you, dear, are the exception.” He pressed a small kiss to Shuichi’s cheek to prove his point.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He laughed. “You really are just a big cat.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What breed of cat?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmm… A Maine Coon. They’re big and mild tempered, and they’re surprisingly cuddly. I’ll admit, when I first met you I wasn’t expecting you to be so physically affectionate.” He stopped petting Kiyo’s hair and stretched his arm out. “You know, I think we’ve got the prettiest soulmark I’ve ever seen.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re biased.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, seriously!” he giggled. “We ended up with them in the same place. Do you know how rare that is? And the flowers are the same color as your eyes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo moved his arm up so he could look at the mark. “They’re more the color of your eyes than mine.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi leaned back and rested his arm against the side of Kiyo’s face. “No… they’re definitely your eyes.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Agree to disagree, I suppose.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi smiled at him, small but sincere. “I love you so much.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kiyo kissed his forehead. “I love you too, darling.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tucked his face back into Kiyo’s shoulder and brought his hands back up to pet his hair again, and they fell into a comfortable silence. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His whole life, Kiyo had a fascination with soulmates. He was interested in their history, and adored the associated myths, but he thought he didn’t want one himself. And then, when he was actually given one, he tried to fight against it, because he thought he wasn’t allowed one. He tried to push Shuichi away because he was afraid he </span>
  <em>
    <span>would</span>
  </em>
  <span> end up loving him. Even then, the world gave him a second chance. He wondered if he would still be alone had he rejected him the second time as well.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Shuichi nuzzled his shoulder. “What are you thinking so hard about?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing important, love.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Maybe fate </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> on his side every once and a while.</span>
</p>
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